No sense in keeping you in suspense: I am the father of Anna Nicole's child.

It all started when I was sent an e-mail from Anna Nicole asking me to father her child. Her note was sent to others at Penn State (there were seven or eight other addressees with "dl" as the first part of their e-mail addresses). I woke up the next morning with another e-mail note, sent to the same addressees, saying that I was the father of her child. I am sure this note was meant for me because the salutation said, "Hi, David!" I am 59, just like this prince guy who also claims to be the father. Honestly, I don't remember anything. I went to sleep after installing several pieces of econometric software on my computer and reading a fascinating Department of Labor report on who to calculate separation rates for occupations. Woke up, and I was a dad.

Things happen for a reason. I am happy that I will have the resources from Anna Nicole's estate to raise our child right.

Off to church. Expresso coffee right now.